Leadership message of the day- Is Fear Getting In The Way:

Is fear getting in the way of being better… there was a time when we had no fear of failure – when learning to speak we weren’t afraid of being laughed at, when learning to walk we were not afraid of falling. So what happened?

Learning is what happened… we learned fear, we learned self-awareness and at some point we learned that failure was bad or humiliating. The funny thing is that on a deeper level we know that failure leads to learning.

So when I was asked how could we go back to learning without fear… my response was “know what you want to learn”. You may laugh and people did snort but after awhile I won them over. Think about it – how can we learn if we don’t know what we want to learn… the shear vastness can be overwhelming. So break it down into chewable chunks.

Here is an example, my client comes in and states I need to learn how to be more confident. It’s a good start but more information is required.

Like a detective… I delve in and ask all sorts of questions – where do you need to be confident, how do you define confidence, how do you know you don’t have it and how will you know when you do have it, are you confident in other areas…

These types of questions result in my client knowing exactly what they want to learn, what resources they already have and where to focus their attention – the thought of learning suddenly becomes less vast and thus less scary.

That’s the first step, the second is to focus on what you already know about the topic… here is a simple exercise to try.

Think of someone who is good at being confident someone who in your opinion does confidence really well. Do you need to know the person – no – it could be someone famous, someone you read about even a fictional character works… you only need to admire how, they do confidence.

Picture them being confident – you are simply watching, remembering, learning and listening… using the skills you know have – processing the information like you did as a child – noting everything so later you can mimic them.

When playing detective note: detective

  • What is the person doing when displaying confidence – what words are they using, how are they breathing, their posture, their gestures…
  • Be inquisitive and ask questions – what is going through your head when you do this, what are feeling, what is your motivation… if you cannot ask them directly imagine what their response would be
  • Listen with the intention of learning – just absorb the information like a sponge

Now… practice, practice, practice and most importantly give yourself permission to learn this new approach and accept that it won’t be perfect – become friends with the learning you.

You are invited to try this technique in this order to loosen the grip of fear, build confidence and get on track with learning

Get specific about what you want to learn

  1. Identify what you already know
  2. Find someone you admire that does it well
    Just Do it, live it, breath it within yourself first – You are becoming familiar and creating an authenticity with this new ability
  3. Practice it with friend, colleague, coach… people that want you to achieve success – Ask for feedback and … feedback is good you can choose what to take and what to park
  4. Practice with someone neutral – Ask your new “wiser-self” how did I do, do I need to change anything to make it genuine or more me
  5. Practice with someone you struggle with – Reflect, learn and make necessary changes

When the practice is easy you are within your comfort zone and it was just a knowledge thing so keep on going…

If practicing is too much of a challenge ask yourself… what is holding me back, where is the difficulty stemming from, what can I do to overcome this… and then be in control and do something about it.

Hope you have some fun with this practice.

By |2015-12-07T15:49:24+00:00December 7th, 2015|Leadership|0 Comments

About the Author:

Leave A Comment

Our Mission

The mission of Do Elephants Jump is to help people successfully transition into leadership. We feel it is our responsibility to do more than just handover knowledge… we provide transformational tools, techniques and support to assist people in removing obstacles preventing them from becoming great leaders.

Do Elephants Jump is a consulting, coaching and training business created to further develop leadership thinking and communication skills to anyone wanting to learn.

About Us

In some fashion everyone is a leader whether that be of self or others… our vision is to have people ready and able to step into a leadership role. This business was started from compassion… for many, being a leader of others represents success but without the skills it turns into a lonely nightmare – the job they used to love no longer exists for them and they did not have the skill set or the support to be successful in their new role… where do they go, who can they talk to, where can they learn, how do they find the time to learn…

Now, they could choose to work with Do Elephants Jump where coaching, teaching and workshops are available face-to-face, online, to an individual or a corporation with flexible times to suit most schedules. Our sessions are designed to be short and quick allowing you to focus for short bursts of time, they are spaced out so you can implement and come back with questions and are peppered with challenges to create accountability. We have graduated programs or you can design your own based on your needs.

Our client base is diverse and includes; entrepreneurs, CEO’s, lawyers, students, not-for-profit, schools and health-care professionals… We take the complexity out of leadership and remove the ambiguity from communication.